There is a blue moon tonight, a rare occurrence. It means that two full moons happen within the same month, occurring once every 19 years. It is especially noteworthy because this blue moon is rising over a new year.

Think of the blue moon reflecting on the water. There is magic and myth in the moonlight. In the myth of Narcissus the water, as a mirror, reflects his  image. It so captivates him that unable to break his gaze, he remains there seeing only his own image until he dies. A dangerous reflection. Do you know someone like this ill-fated fellow? Think about all of the people, teachers and employers you know, and study with and work for. Especially the teachers, sifus, senseis….your teacher.

Does the mirror he holds up before your face reflect  — you – or does it reflect him?
The true teacher will bring you along, encouraging you to develop your own ideas and strengths. He may even be stern, but there is empathy, support and guidance. Aware of your needs, he understands his role, and his goal is to help you achieve your goals. That is his reward, that is why he teaches. It is a safe, nurturing environment where you explore your independent growth and creative expression.

The false teacher who is bound by his ego and narcissism sees his students as part of himself. It’s all about him. Requisite flattery and parroting back his words are the essentials. Carol Lakey Hess explains, “A narcissistic teacher expects that his or her students will mirror his or her needs, especially needs for admiration and loyalty. Because of the power dynamic inherent in educational relationships, students can easily become “narcissistic supplies” at the teacher’s “disposal.” When the students don’t perform this function, the narcissistic teacher shows disappointment, offense, and subtle forms of rage (non affirming eye contact, tense body language, withdrawal, etc.).” It is a toxic, barren environment where little will grow. See the film Protaganist for further insight.

The New Year seems to be a time to reflect on last year, and to anticipate what will unfold in this one. Look in the mirror when it shown to you. If you do not see you own face there, move on. Flourish in 2010.

Toni Josephson

We googled “new year resolutions” and got 26,600,000 results. 10 tips, 5 ways….lose weight, stop smoking, start exercising…it’s all covered.
This post isn’t going to do that. Here’s what we have learned this year. One word that can improve all of our lives immediately: communication.

The ancient story of the Tower of Babel offers one explanation for the linguistic and cultural differences of the human race and the subsequent conflicts arising in the “confusion of tongues”.  The city of Babel united humanity, with all people speaking one language. In time, humility and reverence were lost. In their vain glory, people began a construction that would reach to heaven to show their power. Wrathful of their arrogance, God took away their ability to communicate by creating different languages. The people disbursed across the earth, split into separate factions. And conflict ensued. In modern times, it seems we are still harvesting those bitter fruits.

Our dear friend Maria Seddio, President of Corp Talk, holds to the mantra “conversation is the cure”. She brings meaningful dialogues to organizations and individuals to facilitate collaboration, opportunity and change. CNN’s Rick Sanchez had two people on the phone during his last show of the year, both were in the thick of the bombings – one in Israel, one in Pakistan. He spoke to each and then they spoke to each another.  A touching moment, as they transcended politics and ideologies, glimpsing into the humanity of what one person might say to another in such a tragic circumstance. They communicated.

In Chinese philosophy, shin, the word for mind, is represented by the character for heart. In Taoist & Zen thought this means higher awareness comes from thinking holistically, encompassing logic and emotions. We need to talk — and we need to listen. With intelligence, with compassion.

• Be clear in what you have to say. Let it be more of a dialogue, and less of a monologue.

• Listen mindfully without distraction and without filtering through your preconceived thoughts. Honor the other person. Really hear what is being said.

• Don’t make judgments about a person or a situation based on limited information. Explore, gather all the facts and make an informed decision.

• Check where you may be deluding yourself, or others. Where are you in denial? (Ask your close friends, and no kidding, seek professional help if  necessary).

• Be open to the reality that you may have a solipsistic world view. Expand your consciousness.

We are a world in crisis. Let’s all start now, in 2009, with courage and passion, to communicate. We can work together to turn it around. Talk, and listen, as if your life depended on it. It does.

Toni Josephson

http://www.corptalkonline.com/

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/12/28/the-psychology-of-new-years-resolutions/