Bruce Lee
“Emotional content,” Bruce Lee tells a student practicing a side kick in Enter the Dragon. Martial artists strive to re-channel emotions, like anger, fear and frustration, to amplify the power of a strike or kick, or when breaking a brick or throwing an attacker. The kiai or “spirit shout,” for example, is a way of focusing the breath to direct primal emotions into fighting techniques.
However, when the young student angrily kicks out, Lee admonishes, “emotional content – not anger.” Unleashing power is only the first stage on the martial path. The next less traveled stage, is the challenge to control the power. This demands meditation and deep contemplation of the consequences of our actions. There are mental techniques that help control emotions. These are practical and can be used by everyone of us as a tool for emotional outbursts in daily situations. Here’s some helpful information and techniques:
White Bears
A well known study on the consequences of suppressing emotions was done by Dr. Daniel Wegner. One group of people was instructed to push away thoughts of a white bear, while another group was allowed any thoughts, including thoughts about a white bear. He found that the group who had suppressed thoughts of a white bear actually ended up having more white bear thoughts than the group that had been allowed to thinking about anything.
What it means is that if you accept your thoughts and feelings and learn to regulate emotions, you are less likely to rely on their suppression. Don’t bottle them up– detach, let them come — and then — let them go.
Triggers
Learn to detect the small signs of emotional discomfort before anger or damaging reactive/ impulsive outbursts erupt. Think about exactly why you have these feelings or have the urge to act. Identify the triggers. Consider healthy solutions. Shift your attention. Consciously re-channel the emotional energy into your work, or other activities.
No Blinders
Your ego creates a self- referencing focus and reaction to life’s challenges and changes. It also creates feelings of anger, resentment, fear, even helplessness. You may see your emotional reactions to people and events as information about the situation. Take off the blinders, work on developing your peripheral vision — the wider and further past yourself, the better. Objectivity allows you to look at the thing itself and not at your subjective, emotional feelings. Practice mindfulness and compassion. A healthier ego helps you turn on a light in life’s dark moments.
Techniques
If you feel overwhelmed, angry or upset, stop for a few minutes. Don’t reply to that email or phone message. Don’t engage the other person is an angry dialog. It will get you nowhere fast. Take a break, or a walk. Calm down before you respond or react. We have seen this in the news this past week with Senator Joe Wilson, Serena Williams and Kanye West the results of impulsive or reactive actions.
Move and breathe – use breathing and relaxation techniques to calm you. Give meditation a try. We recommend our Energy Snacks to show you how to breath rhythmically and deeply, and learn to center.
For many of us, emotional control can enhance our every day communications and overall well being. For some of us, it is breaking out of dangerous patterns that cause overwhelming pain for ourselves and those we interact with. If all of this is especially tough for you – try writing down your thoughts, consider assertiveness training, anger management or counseling. Don’t be discouraged if there’s no immediate change in your behavior. Remember, just as learning a kick or joint lock requires repetition and practice, these emotional control techniques require practice –- keep practicing.
Toni Josephson & Lawrence Tan
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Tags: anger, bruce lee, fear, kanye west, Martial Arts, senator joe wilson, serena williams
